EP05: It's Time to Put the Rocks Down - Jack Corbett
Do you know what's the craziest thing? There's something you've said that really resonated with me already.
Yeah.
Is that blokes don't support each other. Even when people- No ... speak mental health, the second you actually open up- Yeah ... you get shut down.
Yeah.
I got exposed to a lot very young. Yeah, I bet,
yeah.
Um, and I was trying to keep up with the Joneses. So no, I, I didn't have a strong mentality at all- No, no ... to those types of things. The biggest part with addiction is this constant need to bury and hide it.
Yeah. When do you think that switch sort of happened?
My wife.
Yeah.
Meeting my wife. I think she made me realize I was enough.
Getting from 10 million to 100 million was really easy. Stay intentional.
Yeah.
That will really, really help the psychology-
Yeah ...
of recovery. Money does not make you happy. I'm telling you that. As a man that has tens of millions of dollars, it just doesn't. It, it is ... Money creates options- Yeah ... and choices.
Real world happiness lives in connection. Yeah. In human connection- Yeah ... with other beings. Yeah. Uh, I was the s- the sixth kid, and I didn't have the faith that the other five were gonna get us out of this. Yeah. I believe freedom comes in four phases. Mm-hmm, yeah. First freedom, whether you accept it or not, is the freedom of finances.
Yeah. The freedom of money creates the freedom of time, but that freedom of time creates freedom of movement, and freedom of movement creates the fourth level, which is-
Why are you choosing to do a podcast, and how many of these have you done?
Well, this is the first... Well, well, the first four are like sharing my story, losing my girlfriend, uh, in a car accident when I was 20, and everything that gone with that, like seven years, just negative, bad thought, drug abuse, drink.
And- Yeah ... I moved to Australia for a fresh start, and it just clicked. I had to do that in my head. And I- Yeah ... wrote a journal, wrote it all down, and read it back through, and I thought, "Fucking hell, right. I'll just do a podcast." One of... So many people, like friends, family, I wanna for them to hear it, and hopefully help a few other people that have been struggling, you know?
So.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And I think just kudos to you for starting in vulnerability-
Mm ...
because that's the place where you'll connect-
Yeah ...
and people actually get behind you, right? Mm. There's an era now of people who all wanna tell you the best bits about themselves, right? Yeah. And you've got heaps of qualities too.
Yeah. Yeah. But what you started off by saying is, "I'm just like you."
Yeah. "
I've made mistakes. I'm willing to own up to them. I can see the detriment they've had to me and the people around me."
Yeah. People,
yeah. It normalizes it. It makes it okay for other people to admit the same, draw a line in the sand, and decide- Yeah
"What do I wanna do next?" Yeah. You know, and I, I feel like that's been one of my greatest qualities in growing- Yeah ... a successful business- Oh, I see ... because getting from a million dollars a year in turnover to 10 million was really, really hard. Blood, sweat, tears- Mm ... 90-hour weeks, you know, just a relentless pursuit of, of growth-
Yeah
and building a, a solid customer base. But getting from 10 million to 100 million was really easy because all of those people, my team, the 40 people that were beside me, the, the customer base, the couple of thousand people that were behind you, all- backed who you were and what you stood for- Yeah ... because I didn't come in trying to be the all-knowing, all-showing person that was above them.
I actually came in and said, "I can relate. I'm the working-class kid that grew up on the- Mm-hmm ... Housing Commission that's made the mistakes too."
Yeah. "
But I've created a formula that allows people to create wealth through property." Yeah. "Would you like to understand how I used it?" And that's created a real- Yeah
cult-like following that's meant we've got to the business that we are today. Yeah. So- Just being yourself, innit? Yeah ... super grateful, super grateful to be your first, um- Yeah, I appreciate it ... guest, mate. And, um- I really
appreciate it ... I think
more blokes like you need to put their hand up and say, "We struggle, and if we can struggle together-
Yeah
we might get through that struggle quicker."
Yeah. "
And we might not have to turn to drink, drugs- No ... gambling, womanizing," do you know?
Yeah.
Um, the fast dopamine hit- Yeah ... to be able to do it.
That's it. I think it's a problem, like, like everyone talks about men's mental health, and it... I don't know what I'm doing with this, but I'm probably taking it to the extreme.
But like you said, I haven't spoke about any of this on the four episodes I've done-
Okay ...
about my, to my closest friends, even my mum and dad. Yes. I've just gone full extreme and just- Yes ... been like, "Look, we need to do it." I've- Yeah,
yeah ...
and-
But if you're gonna come out- Yeah ... come all the way out, right?
Yeah, that's fair. Like, let's come all the way out- Oh, yeah ... because-
But nothing-
Do you know what's the craziest thing? There's something you've said that really resonated with me already-
Yeah ...
is that you could move anywhere in the world-
Yeah ...
it will not create a fresh start.
No. '
Cause you're taking the same man- Yeah
with the same mentality to that location. Yeah. And if you wanna find drugs and alcohol, you'll find it-
Yeah, yeah ...
anywhere in the world- Oh, yeah. ... do you know? You'll, you'll, you'll find it-
Yeah ...
if that's what you're looking for.
Yeah.
And I think what it has to do is changing that culture of blokes don't support each other.
Even when people- No ... speak mental health, the second you actually open up-
Yeah ...
you get shut down.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah. I, I've... It's hard, innit? 'Cause im- when I... You don't wanna talk to your close mate, you could just... For me, you're like a typical bloke, innit, trying to put a brave face on, trying to play strong for the people around you.
Yep.
Not worry them even though they're worried already.
Yep.
But you just gotta, best thing to do is just-
But a lot of, a lot of that is also you. Mm. That's ego.
Yeah. Well, yeah.
Your, your belief is you don't wanna burden the people around you. No.
You already feel like a burden, do you know what I mean? So- Right.
But who are you burdening most, them or you?
Yeah.
Probably you.
Yeah, yeah.
Right? You're probably the biggest burden on yourself.
Yeah, 100%. That's what I've learned, yeah.
So when you don't wanna burden others because you respect them, you care for them, you love them, that's probably a mother-like character- Yeah
do you know? Uh, an older sibling or younger sibling- Yeah ... um, auntie, uncle But do you think they don't know?
Mm. They, they also, yeah.
Do you think they don't know?
Yeah.
First of all, they weren't born under a fucking rock, right? Yeah,
yeah.
Most of our parents were born in the swinging-
Oh,
yeah ... '60s. Yeah, yeah.
Like somewhere between the mid-'60s and, and sort of maybe early '80s. Mm-hmm. Right? A lot of your friends- Yeah, yeah ... and the generation of parents.
Yeah.
They had a better party than you did. Oh, yeah. Trust, trust me. Trust
me.
I know they did, yeah. They just didn't have the internet to project- No ... and tell the stories- No, yeah
or that 24/7 sort of-
Yeah ...
um, Snapchat era- Mm ... that's showing the party. Yeah. But they, they had a party, trust me. Oh, yeah. They knew how to party, probably. They know what a hangover looks like.
Yeah.
They know what a comedown looks like. Yeah. They know what drug-induced depression-
Yeah ...
and/or, you know, the drug-induced euphoria or a high looks like.
Mm.
They do.
Yeah.
Many of them. Yeah. Even if it's not your specific mother, 'cause she's a woman of the church and she's a bit- Yeah ... naive or whatever, but-
Mm ...
people around you know, and I think that- The biggest part with addiction is this constant need to bury and hide it-
Yeah ...
because your fear of others knowing.
No,
yeah. They're all talking behind your back already. They already... Yeah. They're all in a room.
Well, I knew they... Oh, like, people, all my friends found... My mum found my bag, and, uh, friends and family. Mm-hmm. My, like, my mates said they, they was coming to take drugs off me.
Mm-hmm.
And you grew up with it, didn't you?
Like, it's
just... Yeah, I grew up- Yeah ... in a, in a, in a very, um, drug-fueled environment- Mm ... for sure. Violence, drugs, prostitution- Mm ... was normal.
Mm.
Um, it was normalized. Yeah. It wasn't something that was considered out of the ordinary.
Mm.
Um, even though it was in a functional way, a lot of people were very functional addicts.
Yeah.
They still worked 40 hours a week. Yeah. They still got up and went to work- Yeah ... because the thing about drugs is they don't pay for themselves- ... do you know? So when you're-
Mm ...
there's a big difference between a drug user and a drug dealer.
Yeah.
And there are a lot of middle class, working class, every day, mum and dad, functional alcoholic and drug users-
Oh, yeah
that cover it incredibly well-
Yeah ...
to those that don't know them well.
Mm.
Yeah.
Yeah,
yeah. Yeah. Mm. So I, um, I've always questioned why.
Yeah.
Why did I ever take drugs the first time?
Mm. Yeah.
And why did I stop?
Yeah.
They're always questions I do ask myself.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Do you know?
Yeah.
Why, when I did stop-
Yeah
did I have to completely separate myself? Mm. I did not have the strength to be in the environment where it existed.
Yeah. Where did you, like... I talk about mentality and that mentality you got now. Would you say you had that from an early age 'cause you grew up around it, or...?
No.
What was you like, like, as a kid growing up?
I was a people pleaser. I'm, I'm the youngest- Yeah ... of a big family.
Yeah.
So I was always trying to impress.
Yeah.
I was always trying to play up-
Yeah ...
right? And fit in.
Yeah.
So if my 16-year-old brother was smoking a ciggie- Yeah ... do you know? Like- He's 11. I was 11, but like I could see it. I wanted to fit in-
Yeah
do you know? So no, I was very much, uh, I was very impressionable.
Yeah.
Um, I got exposed to a lot very young.
Yeah, I bet, yeah.
Um, and I was trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Yeah.
So no, I, I didn't have a strong mentality- No, no ... at all to those types of things.
When do you think that switch sort of happened?
My wife.
Yeah.
Meeting my wife.
Yeah. How old were you when you met her? 21. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, being given an ultimatum. Part of my life, so I'm introduced to party drugs. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, your first ecstasy pill- Yeah, yeah ... shared between four guys- Yeah ... do you know, at, at like my schooling years.
Yeah.
Like grade 9, 10.
Yeah. Uh.
Which also sounds crazy to me because I look at the average grade 9 and 10 now, like I... Obviously, I help out with coaching kids and-
Yeah, yeah ...
like I can't fathom what are these kids doing, what we got up to at that age. No, yeah. But I guess it's an evolving era, right? Yeah, yeah.
The generation before me tells me they were married at 18- Yeah ... and having kids. Yeah. The generation before that tells me they were at war-
Yeah. Uh ...
fighting for their country- Yeah ... at the age of 18. It's... yeah. So I think it's always a dilution.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I would definitely say the mentality switch to having the strength-
Yeah
came when I met my wife. Yeah. So like I wore braces-
Yeah ...
in my early 20s. Yeah,
yeah.
I'd spent my whole teenage years being too cool-
Yeah ...
to put a pair... Like, "I'm not wearing braces." Do you know how ridiculed you get for a kid wearing braces? Yeah. Like, "I'm just not doing it."
No.
And like I had enough cheek about me that like, yeah...
I used to smile like this, 'cause I'd never show my teeth. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? But I always backed myself to chat up a chick or... Do you know? And I was like-
Yeah ... "
They're not gonna hold me back as much as having braces is gonna." Yeah. "I'm not being that guy." You know? Yeah,
yeah.
Similar with the like, what is a-- why do you take a drug?
Mm-hmm.
Why are you drinking? No. You're trying to create- Name it. Name it ... a falsified reality. Yeah. Whether that's one that's shutting down a conversation you don't wanna have with yourself- Yeah ... or it's switching on a conversation you do wanna have with somebody else. Yeah. Do you get where I'm coming from?
Yeah, yeah. But
I think she made me realize I was enough.
Yeah. Yeah.
And that she loved me for who I was, not who I was trying- Mad it. Yeah ... to, to induce. Yeah,
yeah.
Does that make sense? Yeah,
yeah.
Um, so yeah, I, I'm not saying I stopped completely immediately- Yeah ... but I would say somewhere about a year in, around 22.
Yeah.
Um, about three years before I start Corewood.
Yeah.
Um, she gives me the ultimatum. It's either that life, you're either a party boy- Yeah ... and if that's what you are, that's cool, go do that.
Yeah.
Or you're a family man. You wanna build a home- Yeah ... you wanna get married, you wanna start a family.
Yeah.
And that w- that had always been my ambition.
Yeah, yeah. So I, I had the strength to pursue that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like when did you get into like the sales and business and stuff?
Oh, wow.
Like I, mate, I can imagine you like on the school, you know, like secondary school, you got the people and like bringing the Lucas age sweet. I can imagine you just- Yeah, yeah, yeah
just, yeah.
Yeah, I definitely had the confectionery enterprise- Yeah, yeah ... for sure. Yeah. But I, I had a few verticals running by that stage- Yeah ... you know. Um, refurbished pushbikes. Yeah. A lot of people would take a pushbike to the tip, or it would be sitting in a yard sale or whatever- Yeah ... do you know? We'd strip it down, we'd sticker it up.
So you'd buy the stickers off, you know, the eBay at the time- Yeah ... and you'd sticker it up with GT or Orange- Yeah ... or whatever, do you know? And then you... Scott, and then you'd, you'd knock them back out on the estate. Yeah. Um, tobacco, selling tobacco from young.
How old?
Young. Around 13, 14.
Really?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Um, w- uh, wine. Mm-hmm. 'Cause we, we'd be doing runs to France and back, right? Mm-hmm. 'Cause obviously at that time- uh, the taxation side of things. Right. Like you can pick up cigarettes and alcohol so cheap, bring them back over the border- Yeah ... on the Eurotunnel. Yeah. Um, do you know, you just have to cover the fuel of one of the older lads on the estate, so.
Uh, polo shirts. Yeah. Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, LaFrost, uh- LaFrost
polo shirts,
you know, um, with the backwards crocodile and that on. Yeah. Um, but yeah, just knocking them out. Yeah. Walk, uh, DVDs. Yeah. Um, getting around the pubs.
Yeah.
I'd always be- I was just Jack the Hat, that's what everyone knew me as. Jack the Hat, yeah. Yeah, I've just, I've been known my whole life as- Yeah ... I would wear a hat everywhere I go.
Um, I'm Jack the Hat- Yeah ... and I'd always have- So
how old were you, like- ... something to sell ... were you when you actually like started, started selling pro- like...
When I, when I first started selling, selling a product or service- Yeah ... I was probably like maybe 12, maybe 12, 13. That's young, yeah. Selling, uh, driveways, bitumen- Oh, yeah
like asphalt driveways for, uh, my father predominantly- Yeah ... until, until we got in a dispute about pay. Um, and then f- mostly for like the I- the local Irish travelers and-
Yeah ...
things like that, like block- Yeah ... block pave, bitumen driveways, turf and-
Yeah ...
that type of thing. But when was I first making money?
Like when I first- Yeah, like when you were- How old was I when I first started scheming?
Yeah, I guess, yeah. To
have my first, like I had my first run, like-
Yeah ...
I, I'm saying these things right now in a way, in a hope that nobody who actually uses my business- No,
no ...
will, will, will read too much into some of these stories.
But you gotta understand where I came from- Yeah ... too. Like when I say these things to, to, out loud I don't say them to impress anybody. No. I'm saying them to express-
Yeah ...
my reality.
Yeah.
Right? Like I'm also not ashamed of these things. Nah, yeah. We, we do what we do. Yeah. But some of the best hustles from early, like six, seven, was that, um, the sticker book.
Yeah. So the Premier League sticker book.
Yeah.
So I can name any player from any team.
Yeah.
So you can go and pick a bench player-
Yeah ...
a first-year player-
Oh, yeah,
yeah ... from a team that just got promoted, and say- Yeah ... "You know who is XYZ?"
Yeah. "
And I'll tell you what team he plays for." Now the whole time, like the whole pub's freaking out.
So I'd go one-to-one with you on it. Yeah. I'd, I'd stake a pound. You gotta give me a pound if I get it right. You can name any player in the Premier League.
Harry Kewell or something
like that. I just, I just gotta tell you what team he plays for. Yeah. Right? But what I didn't realize is I'd memorized all 20 teams, and the book's in order, and it's also in colors.
So Arsenal A's at the front. Yeah. Aston Villa's second, and Claret. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. So if you're gonna pull the middle where it's red, it could be L Liverpool or M Manchester. Uh, there's always some challenges, right? Yeah. Like, but as soon as M Manchester became N Newcastle United and red became a black and white page-
Yeah
I could answer it before they'd even... And sometimes I'd sit there and play hard too. I'd be like, "Ah." "You've got me." Like, but they're in a, a, a black and white page at the back of the book, so if it came off a Claret page- Yeah ... which was West... You know, there's West Bromwich and West Ham, right? Yeah. So it's g- If it's, if it's in the black and white page, it's West Brom.
I already know who, what team he plays for. You haven't even told- Yeah ... you haven't even picked the person off the page yet-
Yeah ... that
you're gonna choose. So that one I was cleaning up, man, 20, 30 pound a day. Just walking around a pub, just straight... Do you know the way the Thai kids do with their magic tricks and stuff?
Yeah, yeah. I was just hustling. Yeah. You know? Doing what
you gotta do, yeah. But then I'd take the
30 pound and, like, I'd see guys having a bet on darts or pool- Yeah ... and, like, I'd stake into somebody. So like, "I think that Robbie's gonna beat John."
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So now I'll back Robbie for his, like for 20.
Yeah.
He hasn't got the 20, but I'll stake him. They're like- Yeah ... "You're at eight." Do you know what I mean? But I'll, I'll stake him 'cause I'm on a double up now. Yeah. I'll put my 20 into 40.
Yeah.
I'll buy him a pint. He don't care. He's just playing pool.
Yeah.
Don't care if he loses, he don't lose nothing.
Don't care if he wins, he ain't winning nothing. No.
Uh-huh.
But I'll shout him a pint. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And they were always trying to build the respect of my old man. My old man was a very respected man in, in the boozer.
Yeah.
Do you know? Yeah, yeah. So like, just that environment, man. That's how, that's how we grew up.
Yeah. So that and then-
In a way that,
in a way that taught you a lot, you know ... other, other ways, you know. But like, let's go back and maybe I won't tell stories of me. Let me tell stories of old. And so like, gotta remember the environment I grew up in.
Yeah.
People in my pub, without naming individuals- Mm
like in that pub, they go rent a car for a day-
Yeah ...
take it down to Weston-super-Mare and raffle it.
What's raffle?
So pay £20 for a ticket- Yeah ... to win this car.
Oh, really?
So then all through the summertime people are coming, buying a ticket, buying a ticket and that. Oh. And you got like the pretty girl-
Yeah
in the bikini. It's all done like- Yeah ... as kosher as possible, full raffle books. You're taking all their details. Yeah. You tell them they're not allowed to buy a raffle ticket unless they give you their ID.
Yeah. Oh
Jesus. And that, do you know what I mean? Like then they're going, taking the rental car back for the day.
They've paid £80 to take it for the day, but they just made two bags.
So like what you learnt then you're taking to your business now. Can't, yeah.
In the sense of like-
Taught you a lot from- What
I learned from then, there, I took into my first business.
Yeah. Yes. And how old were you when you set up your first?
14. Wow. What was that?
That was the con- like- Yeah.
Okay ...
when I say business, right, like obviously I hope I never have a means to have to live in the UK again. No. Yeah. And like Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs- Oh, yeah. ... or His, His Majesty's Revenue and Customs office-
Oh ...
doesn't contact me. But- Mm ... yeah, like they were my first businesses 'cause- Yeah
the reality was I was earning more than a full-time wage-
Yeah ...
of anybody that was around me.
Mm-hmm.
So yeah, my first business was brokering.
Yeah.
But predominantly confectionery.
Okay, yeah.
M- m- my godmother, who was like a mother to me, still is like a mother to me- Yeah ... very much so, um, her mother owns the local pub- Yeah
The Prince of Wales, right? That's... It's almost like my, my housing commission, we call them council estates, that's my council estate's-
Yeah ...
communal living room.
Yeah. Okay.
Does that make sense? Yeah. So like that's just where every bloke-
Yeah ...
some of them did have women, but certainly anyone who didn't have a woman- Oh
do you know, between the ages of like 14 and dead- Yeah ... go there for, for, for their day and watch the same T- TV together, right? Yeah. So she had the, the card to the, uh, we called it Bookers.
Yeah.
But it's like a Macro or a, a Costco- Yeah ... or a Campbell's or whatever, right? Yeah. Wholesalers.
Yeah.
So Jamie Oliver's brought the petition in 2015 that you can't sell anything that's high in sugar or saturated fat inside a public school anymore, right?
Right. So no fizzy drinks, no, no crisps, no chocolates, no sweets. Yeah,
I remember
that, yeah. No biscuits, no Turkey Twizzlers, right? So-
Yeah ...
all the good shit's gone.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
But I'm, I went to the type of school when you, when you're from like, when you're from, from the ends in the UK - Yeah ... like when you go to school, they bolt you in.
Yeah. We have like barbed wire, like-
Yeah ...
you gotta keep the kids in because we'll, we'll, we'll leave. Yeah. And we'll go, we'll go do our thing on, on the estate instead. Yeah. Do you get where I'm coming from? Yeah, yeah. So, like, you couldn't really get out of school- No ... once you were in. Yeah, yeah. You were bound there for the six, six, six and a half hours.
Yeah. So, there's still demand for 7Up and Tango- Yeah ... and Fanta and Cherry Coke and Dr. Pepper- Mm ... and Monster Munch and Skips and Quavers and Choccy Bars and... So we're gonna bring it to the school covert. We're gonna get it into school. We're actually gonna peddle most of it at the front gate.
Yeah. So how'd you like sneak it in to bring your-
So we just started working on, like, getting the girls to like a bit like
a bit like just how you'd seen it happen.
Yeah.
When it came to guns or drugs around- ... around the estate-
Yeah,
yeah ... it was never the ones that were doing it were the o- like-
Yeah, yeah.
The safe houses were always the most inconspicuous people.
Yeah,
yeah. Right?
Yeah.
So yeah, we just did the same. Yeah. We just got, we got the younger ones.
Yeah.
We got the, the girls. Yeah. My sister.
Mm.
Pr- like, and her little crew would... 'Cause my sister would be the one who'd bag all the one pound mixes, right?
Like that, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
So we just spread the whole bit. So we only had like two and a half bedrooms, but we had like- Yeah ... my mom's room, which was the bigger room.
My sister had like a shoebox room, which when luckily for her, my oldest sister had kids young and moved out.
Yeah.
Right? So, like, she kinda had that room, and then we had the boys room with the bunk beds. So, like, we just spread our floor out with 60 different boxes of, of like, or 50 different boxes of 1p mix.
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And it was literally two, two, two, two. You'd work your way on a production line. Mm. Two, two, two, two, two, two, bag it.
Yeah.
Two, two, two, two, two, two, bag it.
Yeah.
Now that was a one pound mix- Yeah ... when we were kids.
Yeah.
But I'm in school.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. And you can't get it nowhere else.
Yeah. It's the supply and demand culture, right? Yeah. So I'm starting to understand margin.
Yeah.
Surge pricing. Mm-hmm.
Uber. Yeah. Learn about
that,
yeah.
If I got the lollies- Yeah ... and you got the craving you know what I mean? Yeah. The man with the gold makes the rules.
Yeah.
So- So now I'm going, I'm going two, £2 on the back.
Yeah.
Yeah. Or two for three and- Yeah ... three for fives and- Yeah ... do you know what I mean? Like- Yeah ... you just get deals, deals sort of rolling at different times. And so yeah, we, we'd have, we'd have the girls would-
Yeah ...
people would generally be able to take in 200 pounds worth of merchandise that we should be able to walk out with about 450 pound worth at the end of the day.
Mm. So then my girl Bud, who, like her partner, her ex-partner, the father to her children at the time- Yeah ... uh, Jamie Delord, the Delord family was good friends of ours. Yeah. She worked at the Royal Bank of Scotland in town, and she just used, used to make it as kosher as we could. I just used to come in with that many pound coins.
Oh, yeah. It was stupid. I'm still in my school uniform. I'm getting off the bus every day.
Clanging.
And I'm dropping like... The best part, at times it was getting- Mm ... it was getting up there. Mm. It was, it was probably getting, at its peak it might have been getting towards 800, 1,000 gold coins.
And just walking into the bank
with it.
Just in a, in a day, just tipping them out onto, onto, onto her side, getting it swapped into notes. Yeah. Banking some of it.
Yeah.
Walking out with some of it, going and tearing up Subway for all the boys, just putting all the boys on. Do you know what I mean? Just getting all the foot longs for everybody- Yeah
or like one of them platters.
That's mad.
And then, um-
14, and when, and then did it grow from there? What was like the... It just kind of just clicked I guess is-
From there I probably started to ven- venture down some of the r- like I'm working hard still, but I'm greedy.
Yeah.
At this point, like I haven't defined the difference at that stage in my life between hunger and greed.
Yeah. Okay.
I'm still hungry.
Yeah.
Still to this day, I'm hungry.
Yeah. You got... Yeah.
But I'm not greedy anymore.
No. Yeah.
I'm not gonna do something for my benefit that's at the detriment of somebody else. No,
yeah.
I'm also not gonna do something for my today's benefit that's at the detriment of my tomorrow's benefit- Yeah
or my forever's benefit. Yeah. Do you know? But at that stage, when you're coming from nothing, do you know? Mm. I'm the son of an Irish traveler. I'm the- Yeah ... my, my mother's a, the daughter of an Au- Austrian refugee- Mm ... that's grown up in a, a working mill in, in Limerick in Ireland. Like they're the poorest of the poor.
Mm.
You know? Her mother, you know, they don't speak of it openly, but it, it would, it would make sense her mother was a working woman.
Yeah.
Do you know? Like- Yeah ... my mom went through everything, physical abuse, sexual abuse. My father grew up in social housing. He was an orphan from the age of six, you know, grew up in, in government housing.
Not just I mean government housing as in like council, like as in actual-
Yeah ...
social care.
Yeah.
Do you know?
Yeah.
So like we just came from that where I, I was the s- the sixth kid.
Yeah.
And I didn't have the faith that the other five were gonna get us out of this.
Yeah. So you just kind of
put- I just put it on my back
put it
on yourself.
Yeah. Just put it on my back.
So did you feel like pressure? You said you put a lot of pressure on yourself, or would you say like- I did put a lot of pressure on
myself,
but I, I never- Would you treat that as like the fu- fuel you in a way? Yeah.
100%.
Yeah.
Renowned Middleton or something like that.
There was a book I, I read-
Yeah ...
and it was at the perfect time for me where it was talking about changing my, uh, like my fuel.
Yeah.
Like whether a vehicle runs on hydrogen or diesel or, you know, 98 or E10, right? Mm-hmm. Like we all need a fuel.
Yeah.
And you could have a Lamborghini or, you know, you could have a Fiat Punto, but they're both as quick as each other if you don't have unleaded, right?
Mm-hmm. They're stood still.
Yeah.
And I always thought to myself like people say, "Oh, you got so much energy." Yeah. "Like where do you get all your energy from?" And I'm like But my, my fuel is not motivation.
No.
It's purpose.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm a purpose-led individual. I'm doing what I was put here to do.
Yeah.
Truly believe that.
Yeah,
yeah. I was put on this earth to Impact generational wealth- Yeah ... shift-
Yeah ...
for my family-
Yeah ...
and to change the life of almost anybody I come into contact with. I believe that.
Yeah.
Yeah. Like, don't wanna get Kanye West or Martin Luther- No, no, no ... on it, but like in my small little remit-
Yeah ...
I'm gonna come into contact with a small number of people.
Mm-hmm.
And through the butterfly effect, they're gonna have a better life- Yeah ... for having come into contact with me.
Yeah. '
Cause whether it's a compliment I'll give them- Yeah ... whether it's a piece of advice we'll share with one another-
Yeah ...
whether it's an opportunity I can, I can offer them, whether it's a door I can open, an introduction I can make for them-
Yeah
I believe I will make your life better just for being in my presence.
Yeah. Yeah.
I believe that.
Yeah.
And that's where now you'll go, "Okay, that's ego."
No. Yeah.
Okay, well that's your perception. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So it's a long journey, man- Oh, yeah ... to go from being the overweight, scared kid that just had a dream that I could move my family out of poverty-
Yeah.
And you've done
it ... to sitting as the 35-year-old father of three of my own kids.
Yeah.
Yeah. Um, it's a long journey.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It's a marathon. Yeah. And it does- it also never ends. Yeah. Like, I still to this day go to therapy.
Yeah. Yeah.
I have a counselor.
Yeah. Well, I appreciate that you say that. I
see my counselor every single week.
I
go and see my counselor. That's massive that you're doing that, and you're admitting that you're seeing a counselor, 'cause a lot of people wouldn't even admit it, would they? No. Yeah.
But-
And even go and see
one ... what's like, I'm infertile.
Yeah.
I can't have children naturally.
Yeah.
What is embarrassing about owning your reality?
Yeah.
One thing I've learned, and if I could- if there's nothing any of you take from in this incoherent rambling, 'cause I, I can go once they let me go, right? Is that when you admit your difficulties, when you admit to your challenges and become vulnerable in them, watch how many people can help you.
Right.
When you constantly are projecting that you've got it all figured out, and that you're okay, and there's nothing you need help with, watch how many people don't even find ways or think about how they can help. Dead set. Best thing I ever did-
Yeah.
Yeah. That's, that's what I'm learning now, yeah ... was just decide to ask somebody, is, is stand in front of somebody and say, "I don't know."
Yeah. Yeah. And if you can then do that with humor and humility-
Yeah
Always make the joke about yourself, right? Yeah. The easiest way to create any humor- Mm ... make the joke about yourself. Make yourself the center of that joke, but be humble-
Yeah ...
and say, "I'm asking you this because I think someone like yourself who has so much experience and knowledge will really be able to help me."
Yeah.
Start your question with that.
Yeah.
Yeah. Ask any question to anybody-
Yeah ...
and watch them try and help you.
Yeah. "
I'm really struggling at the moment with being able to get X, find- Yeah ... Y, be introduced to Z."
Yeah. Yeah.
I'll now open my phone book and start the process of- Yeah ... introduction.
Yeah.
You need an accountant, you need a solicitor.
Mm.
You know, you need a copyright lawyer, you need a social media marketer, you need a landscaper- Mm ... you need a chippy, like... But if all you're gonna say is, "I already know the answer-
Yeah ...
I've already got it figured out"-
Yeah ...
then there's no capacity for anybody to help you.
Yeah.
Yeah. Nor is it even rewarding to help you.
Yeah.
Like, you don't want to. We're just gonna leave you to it.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, I think, like, I agree with you. Like, it's... That's what I'm learning now 'cause I've bottled it up for seven years and trying to be like that brave face, not asking for help, and just doing this and getting it all out there and-
Why?
But, uh-
Why, why did it take you- Why did it take you seven years? I
think like the guilt, I don't know, like going back to the guilt, everything, it's, the hard... I don't know, like it's-
When you say going back to the guilt, I'm not familiar with what guilt you
carry. No, that's... No, the guilt's like, the four episodes I talk about losing my
girlfriend.
Mm-hmm. I was like the last person to see her, and I just have that guilt that- So you had a car crash and your girlfriend passed away? She, she was... I wasn't in the car. She wasn't driving her own, but I, I went to the scene.
Okay.
And I was like the last person to see her, so it's just that. Okay.
Probably the seven years was, like part of that during these podcasts is probably me accepting it, everything that's gone on in the seven years, putting it to bed- Mm-hmm ... and turning onto that next chapter, I think.
That's, that's really good. I think accountability's the key. Yeah.
Yeah.
The trauma will always remain-
Yeah.
I
know ... but your decision on how you rebuild yourself out of that trauma-
Yeah ...
that's the difference.
Yeah. That's, yeah.
Because it's like the volcano erupts and wipes out everything in its path, but what it leaves behind is the most nutrient-rich and fertile soil, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. And the greatest forests grow out of that soil in the hundreds and thousands of years that follow.
Yeah. So, uh, it... I don't wanna be brutal in, in that because I understand how sensitive that situation is- Yeah ... but it's time for you to let go of the excuses.
Yeah. Yeah.
That make sense?
Yeah.
I- It's just time for you to let go of them.
Yeah.
Imagine you've got a backpack on- Yeah ... it's just full of fucking rocks.
Yeah.
And they all weigh a different amount, and they're all in there for a different reason, and at some point in your journey, they justified being there.
Yeah.
But from today onwards, they don't serve you.
No, I know. Yeah. And
if you wanna run uphill at something- Yeah ... because nothing in life that's worth having is easy.
No. Trust me.
Yeah.
Yeah. Not a great marriage- No ... not a great relationship with your children, with yourself, not a great physique-
Yeah ...
not a great business. None of those things come easily.
No.
And if you now wanna start your own journey uphill to the top of a peak, whatever peak you set for yourself-
Yeah
on this next three to five years- Yeah ... all those rocks in that bag are slowing you the fuck down.
Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Just probably like, like you said, the, it's like baggage, isn't it? You're always carrying it with you, like not accepting it. It's just in, in your head all the time, thinking about it, not...
And that's what I was doing. I was just negative and bitter, so- Of course. What could I, what
could I have done
differently? Yeah.
Yeah. But if you love her the way you believe you did- Yeah ... and as a young person, I think as a mature person, and I don't... I had a high school sweetheart. Yeah. Her name was, uh, two, I guess, Jade and Stacy.
Yeah. And they were the first two girls I ever felt like I loved.
Yeah.
And at the time, I did love them. Um, the thought of them not being around them or, or not being together made me sad. Yeah. And that's the closest thing I had to knowing what love was. Yeah. You know?
Yeah.
But you're getting... Now I'm 35 last Friday.
Um- And your universe becomes so much bigger.
Yeah.
But your scope within that universe becomes so much smaller.
Yeah.
And there's like three, five, seven people that ever matter.
Yeah.
Do you know?
Yeah, yeah.
And if you can now decide what do I wanna be for them as opposed to what was I or wasn't I- Yeah ... for her.
Yeah.
Um, and if you look back and you think she did love me, I loved her at the time in the youthfulness that we had for what love is as a 20-year-old Would she wanna see me here depressed?
No, yeah, that's, that's all I think, that's... Yeah
Sniffing- Yeah ... drinking-
Yeah ...
staying up until an ungodly hour-
Yeah
lying.
Yeah. '
Cause that's the one thing you don't realize how much- No ... you do- No ... is the white, continuous white lying.
Yeah. '
Cause the one reason you stayed out for just a couple of hour this or spent that- Mm-hmm ... $200 on this or that- Mm-hmm ... is, and it just compounds and compounds- Yeah ... and compounds until... One thing I really try and drum into my team is the way we do anything is the way we do everything in life.
Mm-hmm. So if you're unorganized, sloppy, do you know, have low attention to detail in your personal life, you'll more than probably carry that into your professional life. Yeah. It's just the way it works. Yeah,
100%.
You know?
Yeah.
So I think that it's, it's similar in that circumstance. You start a few white lies- Yeah
and you think it's just because it's when you're drinking.
Mm-hmm.
But you start to realize that it's just an unconscious standard you've created for yourself. Yeah. It's okay to lie. Mm-hmm. And if it's okay to lie to your wife, then fuck, it's okay to lie to anybody.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Does that make sense? Yeah. But when you live in absolute brutal truth-
Yeah
you don't even have a backpack, let alone rocks in it.
No. It's just like-
It's so liberating. Yeah,
yeah. Like when
I-
It's freeing, I guess, isn't it? Just- Y-
yeah, to sit here and be- Yeah. Um, I play football with you.
Yeah.
I've known you for a couple of years now. To sit there and turn up at my social events, my, my recreational activities, my office, my home with...
I'd mind my P's and Q's a little bit more around my mother- Yeah ... out of a respect thing.
Yeah.
My wife, I wouldn't 'cause she got a worse potty mouth than me. But to never ever, ever, ever have to, uh, adjust your character-
Yeah ...
or think, "Oh, what did I say or do-
Yeah ...
last time?"
Yeah.
So liberating.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's at... That's freedom.
Yeah.
I've said this somewhere else before once, that I believe freedom comes in four phases.
Mm-hmm.
I believe I'm a free man.
Yeah. I believe you're a free man.
To the extent of the bureaucracy of the country in which I live- Yeah ... I believe I am as free as possible within this matrix.
Yeah. '
Cause that comes in four levels.
Yeah.
First freedom, whether you accept it or not, is the freedom of finances. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Without money-
Yeah ...
there are a wide range of limitations that will be applied to your life.
Mm-hmm.
So the first one is you gotta get financially free.
Mm-hmm.
The freedom of money creates the freedom of time Why can I at 10 o'clock on a Wednesday Come and sit with somebody and do a podcast.
Yeah.
Because I control my own time.
Yeah.
My finances allowed me to buy back my own time.
That, that's the freedom, yeah. Talking about- I
get to drop my kids off at school and pick them up-
Yeah ...
every day.
Yeah. Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
I get to be at dinner at home. Yeah. M- more... Far, far, far more nights than I'm not.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Do you know? But that freedom of time creates freedom of movement. You can be wherever you want. Yeah. You wanna go work a long weekend in a different city or state, or go overseas to watch the M- McGregor-Holloway fight- Yeah ... and have your fourth overseas trip in seven months.
Yeah.
You can do that.
Yeah.
Right? That freedom of travel, freedom of movement creates the fourth level, which is freedom of mind.
Yeah.
Once your mind is free-
Yeah ...
you just don't need- No ... any level of stimulant to be able to feel whole.
Yeah.
You've been with me when I can sit there in a scenario, footy lads- Yeah ... right? That's about as bro- Yeah
about as, do you know, as it comes, and I can be completely sober-
Yeah ...
and still be the loudest person- Yeah ... in the room- Yeah ... the biggest carry on- Yeah ... the one that's drinking his so- you know- Yeah ... sparkling water from his shoe, still the first one on the karaoke.
Yeah.
Because I've come out the other end of that journey.
Yeah.
So why did I come here today? I've been invited to 100 podcasts. Yeah. I have only ever previously done two. This is my third ever. Yeah. Why did I come here? 'Cause I think it's important for people to see this journey in real time.
Yeah.
Your transition to sobriety.
Yeah.
It's so powerful.
Yeah. Yeah.
I am not a sober man.
I enjoy- No ... a glass of wine, et cetera. Yeah. Right?
I still have a drink now and again. But
my, my, my journey wasn't that.
Yeah.
I had to eliminate it entirely.
Yeah.
And I couldn't sit as the strong man I am today in a room full of people drinking and taking drugs- Yeah ... and say no.
Yeah.
That's what had got me on the years path, four or five, bloody probably more like seven years path as a recreational drinker.
Dr- I was a binge drinker.
Yeah.
I've never been a drinker.
No.
I've never sat in the week and drunk.
No.
Ever, ever, ever.
No. No.
Like, I'll go to the pub with the boys and have a- Yeah ... a pint-
Yeah ...
do you know? Yeah. Over a steak or whatever, but-
Yeah ...
I've never been... I'm a, I was a binge drinker. Yeah. To- Like social
once a week- Yeah ...
teetotal
the shit out of yourself. Yeah.
Yeah, that was it. That was me.
Yeah. Usually try to keep a lid on it on a Friday during- Yeah ... sports season.
Yeah. '
Cause you'd play sports on a Saturday. Yeah.
Yeah.
But by the time that final whistle had gone-
After football, shout
on me. Yeah ... teetotal yourself- Yeah
until usually deep on a Sunday, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
And then try to take a Valium or whatever else and try and get a good night's sleep and show up on Monday a broken person- Yeah ... and just try and go back to work.
Yeah.
Do you know?
Well, it was just rinse, repeat as well every week probably. Same as me.
But do you know how powerful compounding becomes?
Do you know the time when it's easiest to save is when you have savings? Yeah. That sounds stupid, right?
Yeah. But
when you've only got $1,000 in your bank-
Yeah ...
the idea of saving $100- Yeah ... this week on top of that thousand just seems so fucking minuscule, doesn't it? It's like, what's the point?
Especially like today as well-
like the cost of living, like there's a lot of people out there struggling, aren't they? It's
just- Yeah, and, and even like- ... a thousand
bucks isn't gonna get
you that far ... when they are struggling and it's like, "Okay, I've only got this hundred bucks."
Yeah.
Instead of thinking, "I'm struggling, this hundred bucks- Yeah
could help me struggle less in the future."
Yeah.
It's like, "I'm just gonna go to the cinema because I'm struggling."
Yeah. "Oh,
I'm just gonna go and have a dinner because I deserve it- Yeah ... because I'm struggling, and life's not just about working and- Yeah ... and paying your bills."
Yeah.
Well, no, it's not. Life's about working, saving, paying your bills- Yeah
and then spending what's left.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's what life's about.
Yeah.
But it's a probably a little bit similar to that, like in the, in the sense of if, if I'm only gonna have $100 and I've got a thousand, what's the point?
Yeah.
But when you've got 10,000, saving another thousand, which is the same as saving a hundred on top of a thousand, it's 10%-
Yeah
seems so much more worthwhile-
Yeah ...
doesn't
it? Yeah.
So that's how my journey became- Yeah ... was like, "I'm not gonna drink for 30 days."
Yeah.
It's how I... 'Cause I couldn't say I'm just not gonna drink.
Yeah.
It just wasn't possible for me.
No.
I couldn't think all the way into the forever.
Yeah.
So I needed to break it down.
Yeah. "
I'm not gonna drink for 30 days. Okay, I've got this. Fucking got this." People ringing you, "You coming out?" You're like, "Argh."
Yeah. "
Argh. FOMO, is it gonna be good? Where are you going? Who else is going? Argh." "No, I'm not coming." Yeah. Couldn't go out, just had to stay in, watch the TV, get a pizza- Yeah ... do you know, whatever.
Yeah.
That's how I, I was able to stay in. All right. 30 days goes by, and now it's your choice again, right?
But 30 more days, 60 days sounds way cooler than 30. I can grow another 100% if I do exactly what I just did. And do you know, the fourth time of saying no, weekend four of the 30 days was way easier than weekend one.
Yeah.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
So I did a second month, and then it just became, "I'm gonna do the whole rest of this year and I'm only gonna drink at Christmas."
I got this big shindig in my mind. I'm gonna fucking blow the roof off this thing at Christmas. And then Christmas came and I just didn't want to, so I moved it to my birthday in the June.
Yeah.
And then I just didn't want to. And then it was four and a half years broken once by me having one beer at my own wedding.
Yeah.
I drove to and from my wedding.
Did you?
I had one beer at my wedding.
Oh.
I was a sober man at my wedding.
Yeah.
To then like a transition out of that
Yeah
Where I started to... I think trust is probably the underlying, that you start to trust yourself.
Yeah.
I trusted myself to go back to the pub, go in the punters club like we used to- Yeah
put my 50 in, 'cause I love that with the boys. Yeah. When you put 50 in each, it's one race each, right? You pick some fucking stupid name- Yeah ... or stupid number, or it's g- none of us know how to bet. No. We're there to lose the, we're literally there to lose the money. Yeah. We're gonna, we're gonna go home when we've lost the money.
Yeah. And there's that odd day you end up having a-
Having a lucky, yeah ...
like the 50 became five and whatever, do you know? But I could go back to it. I could drink Sparkle and water.
Yeah.
Do you know?
Yeah.
I could. I could just go. I could be. I could have exactly the amount of enjoyment I felt I used to-
Yeah, without drinking
but I just didn't need to drink. No,
yeah.
By the way, I've never, ever in my life taken drugs sober. No,
no, no.
Ever, ever, ever, ever.
No.
There's n- I've never sat there as a sober person- No ... and thought, "I'd love to be completely fucked up right now."
No.
Does that make sense?
Oh, yeah,
man. I'm a drug ta- Yeah ... I always took the drugs when I got to the stage of drunk-
Yeah
where the drugs was gonna allow the drunk to continue. To continue. 'Cause there is a point where the drunk can't continue, right?
Yeah.
By that 15, I don't care who you are, there's some good drinkers out there. There's a certain point for the average man-
Yeah ... where
there is no more drinking can happen. No.
You're a sloppy mess.
Yeah. The
whole evening's ruined, but drugs can bring you out of that.
Yeah.
Right? Yeah. And can extend the party.
Yeah
So as soon as I switched off the drink, the, the gateway had gone.
Yeah.
So I had complete control of the drugs 'cause I didn't drink.
No. Does
that make sense? Yeah, yeah.
For me.
Yeah. I'm
not saying that's gonna work for everybody. No,
no, yeah. Yeah.
But that was, that was the transition back-
Yeah ...
to then being able to have a drink-
Yeah ...
or two.
Yeah.
To then now having had since, I got married in the February of '19, so what are we talking? Over seven years later, I've probably been drunk-
Right
seven or eight times.
Yeah.
Like pissed.
Yeah,
yeah. Do you know?
Yeah.
But still been able to just not ha- like that- Yeah ... part of me, that character-
Yeah,
yeah ... that need to take something further to impress or to fit in-
Yeah ...
just isn't there anymore.
Yeah. No, yeah. And I
think it'll be the same with you. You'll have-
Yeah
you know, there'll be a couple of years-
Yeah ...
now where it is gonna be tough.
Yeah. I'll try not to like... 'cause I'm going home in August, so I know that'll probably see all my friends, and so that'll probably be a big month. Yeah. My mate's getting married. Yeah. But I think after that I'm just gonna... I didn't for a little while, I didn't, I didn't try, like, I've never really been a massive drinker, like, so I don't drink, I didn't drink during the week.
Yeah. But I was the same as you, like I'd go out on the weekends just to numb it, just fucking get completely blackout. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep.
Drink, ket, fucking anything that'll get me out. On coke, pills- Yeah, yeah ...
so it's just- I think it's also about being intentional.
Yeah.
I don't wanna sit here now and say that because just stopping-
No
isn't gonna work for everybody.
No.
And also there's a lot of people who are sitting going, "But I actually don't want to just-
Right ...
stop altogether. I just wanna be more intentional."
Yeah.
And if they can sit and say, "At Blues Festival in September," right? Yeah. "Or when I go home, I'm getting these two friends- Yeah
I'm going to this place and doing this-" I can almost live with that. Like I don't keep people around me that are Degenerates Yeah I certainly don't... 'Cause I, I just know that all drug takers are liars.
Yeah.
They just are. Whether it's a white lie in the moment- Yeah ... that you compound so. But I believe the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Yeah. I don't keep liars around me- No, no ... and I don't keep drug takers around me. Yeah. Right? I'm not trying to... Also, God bless you, whoever you are and whatever you're doing on your own journey. I just don't keep those people- No ... close to me in my intimate circle. Yeah, yeah. Right? Yeah. But if somebody in my intimate circle, my big brother-
Yeah
says to me, "At AFL Grand Final weekend in Melbourne- Yeah ... I'm gonna get this or that-
Yeah, yeah ...
and I'm gonna go to this nightclub to do this"
Right.
And he says that with six months' notice, I'm gonna, I'm gonna live with that.
Yeah.
You have set an intention.
Yeah.
You are exercising some of the debauchery- Yeah
you know, and the sins of life.
Yeah.
You're washing your hands with it-
Yeah ...
and you're coming back to reality-
Yeah ...
where you are an honest, hardworking, mature father that is trying to set the right impression for the boys that we're trying to raise as the next generation- Yeah ... of our Corbett family.
Yeah.
I'll live with that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
To me-
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah ... I'd live, I'd live with that. Yeah. And I think maybe it could be the same for yourself.
Yeah.
I, I don't know.
No.
I see. Yeah. Maybe it could be the same for others- Yeah ... where they would say, "I'm going back to the UK."
Yeah.
'Cause the words you s- you said to me is, "I'm going to try."
Yeah.
Those who try fail. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I see.
If you use the word could, would, should, might, maybe, possibly, potentially, perhaps, it would be nice if, I would like, I want, or I will try-
Yeah. This has got
to happen ... every one of those means you won't do it.
Yeah. No,
yeah, yeah.
If you say can, will, do, shall, have, must, am, definitely, absolutely- Yeah ... or certainly-
Yeah ...
that means you will. Will
do it. Yeah.
So all I heard right now is that you are going to fail- Yeah ... in the UK.
Yeah.
So instead of failing on someone else's terms-
Yeah ...
why not fail on your own?
Yeah.
Pick one day-
Yeah ...
and one place with one group of people-
Yeah ...
that you are going to partake or indulge. Yeah, yeah. If you are.
Yeah.
If you are.
Yeah.
If not, start with daily affirmations that say, "I definitely, absolutely, certainly am not."
No, yeah.
And if you say that every day, three times a day between now and going to the UK-
Yeah
as soon as it arrives, and that other part of you that starts saying- Okay ... "But is it any good?" That's the first question you're gonna ask
yourself. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know. This is-
Just look around-
Yeah ...
at the individuals around you-
Yeah ...
and ask yourself the question, where are they going when this is over?
Yeah. '
Cause this will be fun-
Yeah ...
for the next 24 hours. Yeah.
Yeah.
But once this is all over, where are they going?
Yeah.
They're probably going back into a dark hole, right? Truth.
Mm-hmm.
That they haven't been brave enough and vulnerable enough to start their journey out of.
Yeah.
You don't have to hate these people for that.
No, no. Love them for who they are- Yeah, yeah ... where they are, and what they stand for.
Yeah.
Help them as best you can without coming across as though- Uh, you're being belittling- Yeah ... or, or judging them for having a different mindset.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
Yeah.
But just be intentional. That's all I'd say. Yeah. Just be intentional, because at which point when you walk away and you come home, you won't have any blood on your hands.
No.
You won't have any regret. You don't have to sit in the quiet of the solitude of self and now go and beat yourself up and have negative self-talk about how ill-disciplined you are-
Yeah ...
and why couldn't you have just said no?
Yeah. I
didn't say no 'cause I knew I wasn't gonna say no.
No, yeah.
With me?
Yeah,
yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, though, um-
So, like I'm going to Vegas for the McGregor fight, right? Yeah. I'm gonna smoke a little doobie- Yeah ... when I'm over there. Yeah. Uh, cannabis is legal. Yeah. I don't... I say that, I'll choke my lungs out. I, I may well take a- Gummy? ... like a gummy pastel- Yeah, yeah ... or something, right?
It's legal in that country. Yeah. I am going to Las Vegas- Yeah ... of all places. The last time I was there, uh, 12 years ago. See, I was trying to think when it was, August of '14. When was the... It might have even been earlier than that. Victor Ortiz versus Floyd Mayweather.
Fucking hell, yeah. September 2012. Ah, fucking Jesus, that shows how- Man ... quickly life flies by, man. I know. You have a few kids and a few years will disappear. But I was fully into my-
Yeah ...
let's go do Las Vegas-
Yeah ...
era of my life. Properly,
yeah.
Right? Whereas now being able to go there, enjoy a show-
Yeah
all the glitz and glamour, do you know?
Yeah.
Have the few hours-
Yeah ...
of, you know, what comes with that before you probably go and eat everything on somebody's fast food menu. Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, I, I think summarizing that, and 'cause I know we're coming to the last few minutes, I would just say, uh, stay intentional.
Yeah.
That will really, really help the psychology-
Yeah ...
of recovery.
Yeah.
Right? Yeah. And, and even when you do unintentionally relapse- Yeah ... 'cause that happens-
Yeah ...
my motto was al- was always just, I'm not gonna have the next one, and that's what I picked up from my mother. I watched my mom quit smoking cigarettes like a boss And even if she had one and you'd catch her out of her bedroom window, it's like she became the teenager in the house too, which is funny, right?
'Cause sh- I was catching her smoking.
Yeah.
But she'd always just say, "All right, I won't have the next one. I just won't have the next one-" Yeah. "... the next one, the next one." That just stuck in my head no
matter- Yeah.
Even in the game of sales.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll just get the next one.
Yeah.
Just pick up the phone, call the number. Do
you ever get that with your sales? Just, "Yeah, we're gonna get the next one." You ever get that? For
sure.
Yeah.
Football.
Yeah.
How many times in football do we concede a goal, even when we score a goal-
Yeah ...
I just want it to go back to nil-nil.
Yeah. '
Cause there is nothing that has happened in this game before we re-kick off-
Mm
that determines anything that's gonna happen moving forward.
No, yeah. Yeah.
So in that moment, it's just nil-nil.
Yeah.
And I think, yeah, I've took that through my whole life- Yeah ... that nil-nil mentality. Yeah. That ability to just reset myself- Yeah ... in the moment, and, and it, it also... I, the way I-- One of the ways I did that was by having what I call a, a razor.
Yeah.
A pact to myself. So I have When I'm least sure of something, I ask myself the same questions every time- Yeah ... not different questions. 'Cause if I
ask the same questions every single time I'm uncertain-
It's gonna get nowhere ...
it centers me.
Yeah, going in a circle. Yeah.
So I come back to, what would love do in this situation? Yeah. It's the first question I always ask, ask myself. So in any, in, in this right now, what would love do?
Yeah. '
Cause it's easy to hate.
Yeah.
It's easy to be angry and frustrated, but it's hard to love. Yeah. It's especially hard to love in the greatest moment of difficulty. Yeah. But what would love do right now? What would a billionaire do in this situation? Somebody who was a billionaire, i.e., money just was not a factor. No.
Yeah.
Would you go-
Yeah
to the UK for one day to be at a funeral of somebody you love?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, 'cause-
Yeah ...
flying business or first class just ain't that fucking hard. You're lying down on a bed- Yeah ... you're eating good food- Yeah ... you're watching shows.
Yeah.
Do you know? It's cruisy as.
Yeah.
But you were there, you were present.
Yeah.
Do you know? So what would love do in this situation? It would go to the funeral. Yeah. What would a billionaire do in this situation, right? I'm starting to go like these... I've given one example, but- No,
yeah ...
ne- next question, what would a black belt-
Yeah ...
do? If I was a jujitsu black belt-
Yeah ...
which I will be-
Yeah
what would I do in this situation?
Yeah
And at the end of those three questions, sometimes I add the fourth one, which is, "What will the future me say about the decision that I'm making?"
Yeah. '
Cause I don't wanna look backwards at what led me to having to make this decision. I wanna look forwards at- Oh, yeah
how is this decision I'm about to make gonna impact-
Yeah ...
me or anybody else in the future?
Mm.
You know, who is most impacted by this decision? At the end of those questions, I back myself.
Yeah.
And I've, I've made some of my biggest life decisions on a whim like that.
Mm.
Done $30 million development on a site I've never seen.
Someone laughed at me like that. No. They're like, "Do you know when you come past the White House-
Yeah ...
a few block, um, blocks up?" I was like, I was like, "Uh, no, I actually don't, no. I've never driven to the street before." Yeah. They're like, "What, so you bought this property, you'd never seen it?" I was like, "Yeah."
"And then when you knocked it down and rebuilt-
Yeah ...
50 more on top..." "Well, yeah." But- Yeah ... my razor, my questions- Yeah ... and my gut, my intuition said- Yeah ... I didn't need to see it.
No, yeah. Yeah.
So I just back myself on the decision-
Yeah ...
do you know?
Yeah.
Got me in trouble here once or twice. On the whole, it always seems- Oh, yeah
to pan out how I want it to.
No, good.
Uh- Yeah ...
good
question. Nowadays, what keeps me motivated, without a shadow of a doubt, as cliché as it is, is my kids.
Yeah. I like... 'Cause like, uh, family- It's
just a whole new why. Yeah, yeah. Like, you get to a certain point where there's nothing like an extra, another car, like whatever, that's gonna make you go above and beyond again.
No. Um, having two sons, being blessed with two boys, obviously I've got a daughter now too- Yeah Them two boys changed my life- Yeah ... and they just reset the purpose. When I said I'm purpose-led-
Yeah ...
I had already kind of achieved my purpose. Yeah. And I often sat and almost said to myself, "Well, if today was my last day, I am very content with- Yeah
with what I would have left behind- Yeah ... and what I've achieved- Yeah ... here." And then bang, 19th of May 2021, they put him in my arms and I'm like... I remember the, the nurse putting a seat beside, behind me-
Yeah ...
right as it was happening. I was like looking at her, "That was a bit weird." And then as she gave him to me, my legs went like jelly.
I sat down on the seat, and she gave me the wink, and I was like, "Okay, this isn't your first, like, delivery." Do you know what I mean? So yeah, have- having them is, is the, is the new why.
Yeah.
From everything though.
Yeah.
Because the easiest thing for me to do now is just spoil them.
Yeah.
So easy. Yeah. Just say yes, just give them what they want, let them have the best of everything.
That's easy.
Mm.
Raising them now as humble, grateful, disciplined young men-
Yeah ...
that's a real challenge- Yeah ... and I'm excited for it.
Yeah, no,
good. Well- Yeah, I'm looking, I'm looking forward to it.
And the other question I probably want to ask, like the mental resilience. Mm-hmm. Like, I probably feel like myself, what, what I've been through, like I look at myself now and think, "If I can go through all that..."
It's more like kind of my positive mindset trying to flick. "If I can go through all that, I can get through anything," sort of thing. Do you know what I mean? So- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm ...
when you build that mental resilience, what would you say you've built? 'Cause you've built that from like your upbringing and that, that's why you've probably done succeed, like you've-
Build is the right word, but I don't know if it can be taught.
No. I think it has to be caught. Yeah. It's like it's one of those things that can only really be kinesthetically learned.
Yeah.
Right? Like you've got to go through it-
Yeah. Yeah ...
to understand what your version of it is. Yeah. Because one person's mental resilience isn't another person's. No. Oh, yeah. Do you know?
So I would definitely say it is an ever-evolving thing.
Yeah.
I have to, I have to attribute it back to the challenges-
Yeah ...
for sure. Yeah. Because like you, do you know, it's the greatest adversities that you then turned into your strengths. Yeah. Yeah. So I had every excuse going, right? Yeah. Mum... Kicked out of school, mum was the cancer patient, grew up on the council estate, do you know?
Father was the criminal, on the free school lunches, like always in the hand-me-downs, 'cause I'm the youngest, right? Yeah. Like I didn't have nothing of my own. Mm-hmm. Nothing that was mine-
No. Okay ...
ever. And that's why I learned to shoplift.
Yeah.
Like straight up. Right. Because it was just... Always had pride.
Yeah.
I wanted to, to be a man who was respected, and I think that came for me above anything, and it's why I don't only see my own counselor once a week, but we- I also go to marriage counseling.
Yeah.
Me and my wife go to marriage counseling so that we can love each other more, not to save our marriage.
Right.
We didn't go as a, a reactive measure. We went as a proactive measure.
Yeah.
Let's make a good marriage great.
Yeah. '
Cause then even when it's not the best it can be, it'll only be good-
Mm.
Do you know?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But the reason that we go and do that is because there's always a new challenge.
Yeah.
Do you know? So, um, money does not make you happy. I'm telling you that. As a man that has tens of millions of dollars, it just doesn't. It, it is... Money creates options- Yeah ... and choices.
Yeah.
What you choose to do with those options and choices has the capacity to create a level of happiness you may not have experienced-
No.
Yeah ...
before. But real world happiness lives in connection
Yeah ...
in human connection- Yeah ... with other beings.
Yeah. I, I, I agree with you. Like talking, sitting down with other people and just, oh, well, you know, it's like when you're with your close mates, there's nothing better- Nothing better ... than your close mates.
'Cause you could be at the Shangri-La- Yeah ... drinking Don Julio-
Yeah ...
or you could be around a fire- Yeah ... drinking Tennent's Super- Yeah ... fucking White Lightning. You wouldn't give a bollocks, mate. No, no. And as a matter of fact, you'll probably remember that more.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Because it's those experiences that don't actually cost- No
anything.
No.
But also the ones where people are there organically and on free will.
Yeah.
As you could probably imagine in my life, I have some new friends-
Yeah ...
or people, new people that want to be friends-
Yeah. Yeah ...
that seem to be very committed to their relationship with me.
Yeah.
Do you know?
Yeah.
But it's hard to trust new people-
Mm
because it's why I know no matter how, what we go through, I will be married until death do us part. Yeah. I'm telling you.
Yeah.
110% categorically-
Yeah ...
I will be married to that woman- Yeah ... because it would be impossible for me to go and find another woman
now. No. Yeah.
I met this girl at 18. I was 21 years old.
Yeah. I was in a, a Commodore VT, 2000 Commodore VT, my first ever V8, you know. A V6 actually, sorry, it was. Yeah. Um, she worked at the fish and chip shop, her mother's fish and chip shop. Yeah. Do you know? She was a second year diploma student studying nursing, and I was just grafting-
Yeah ...
battling. Hadn't-- didn't own a house.
No. Do you know? Had a couple bob to my name from being good at set but, like, not nothing-
Yeah ...
real world.
Yeah.
And through everything, like stood beside me, helped me become a better man first, helped me, helped me become a better business owner second, allowed me to become a father, then helped me become a, a better man again as a father- Yeah
a better son And none of it cost anything. No. I realise my wife to this day will move into a small unit-
Yeah ...
with a car that gets us from A to B-
Yeah ...
as long as we're all there together.
Yeah.
And as long as she's got the most important things to her, love, respect, communication, commitment.
Yeah.
Do you know?
Yeah.
And that was the humbling part for me, 'cause it was like, "I'm gonna be a billionaire." But what does it really mean?
Mm. '
Cause if I can't drop the kids off at school-
Yeah ...
or pick 'em up, that's not winning-
No ...
to me. So mental resilience today- Yeah ... come back to how we'll finish. Yeah, it takes a lot to get to where everybody is.
Yeah. Everybody watching this, you, you've gone through your own journey of resilience to be where you are today, but now's your time to define what is important to you. My non-negotiables are time with my children.
Yeah.
To everything you might ask me to do, end of season football trip.
Yeah.
I love my football team.
Yeah. I love yous all to death.
Yeah.
But I've come once in the last four years because it also coincided with a bucks party and a 40th birthday, so I could take- Yeah ... three birds out with the one stone.
Yeah
Four days in Cairns with you is not more important to me than four days at home with my children.
No. Yeah,
yeah.
That is- And my mental resilience now is knowing when and how to say no.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Being selfish enough to serve myself-
Yeah ...
in the sense of going to Turkey two weeks ago to w-watch the, the Europa League final- Yeah ... 'cause my team are playing. Going to Vegas to watch a fight 'cause my favorite fighter's fighting.
That's me being selfish enough to remember I've gotta serve me too. Yeah. My cup's gotta overflow before the excess can be given to anybody else. Yeah. Fair?
Yeah. Yeah
But second behind that is then my wife, my children.
Yeah. If,
if what you're asking me to do is at the detriment of them or time with them-
Yeah
I-- "Oh, no, it's la- it's only la-" Okay, we're going to a, a c- an event. Great. Can my wife and children come?
Yeah.
If they can't, I'm not coming.
No. Yeah.
Even if they can, I might not come.
No. '
Cause I might just wanna spend the time with them instead.
Yeah,
yeah. Do you know? But it's something my wife's getting a lot better at, traveling with me.
Mm-hmm.
Especially when the Dubai situation was happening, obviously taking my residency in Dubai and needing- Yeah ... to be going back and forth so often
i- it's, it's just like, it's the yin to my yang. I don't feel in balance. Mm. I don't sleep properly. I actually do drink more.
Mm.
It's funny, eh? Like I'll have- Yeah ... three beers over my dinner, not none. If my wife's there, I won't drink. No,
yeah.
But for some weird reason, that's weird. I only just... I just had a self-realization there, like, and I don't know why.
Um, I'll FaceTime her, put her on the other side of the table, and pretend I'm eating dinner with her. Right. Do you know? Shit like that. But, um, no, I think connection is, is key. Having just those two to three best friends- Yeah ... who are not actually all very similar. You need your one who's gonna tell you, "Stop being a silly cunt," you know, "Give your head a wobble."
Yeah. "This isn't as big an issue as you're making out," and is that little bit of a one that gives you the tough love.
Yeah.
You need that empathetic person who's willing to just hear you out, maybe isn't gonna tell you what to do about it, but they're just gonna sit and let you be.
Yeah.
Then you might, might need your strategist, your little fixer, the person who's gonna come and go, "Okay, I've heard you out now, but- Yeah
what are we doing about it?"
Yeah.
Do you know? And in keeping the right few people around you and knowing how to get the support you need from each of them, um, I think is key.
Yeah.
Um, but then stepping into that space. Do you like helping people?
Yeah, that's why-
Do you like when people open up to you and view you as the safe person that they can be vulnerable to-
Yeah
that and seek advice from? Do you like
that? Yeah, 'cause I think I, I could probably give people good advice of what I've been through, I've gone through it, and so-
The thing is you just never fucking follow your own. No. That's hu- but that's human nature, right? Yeah. We're all hypocrites. Yeah. But then you're an even further hypocrite, so is every person that's watching this that was just thinking, "Yeah" to that question.
You like to give advice-
Yeah ...
sometimes unsolicited without people's desire to receive it, right? But you like to give advice. You like to be the one that someone turned to and said, "I'm having difficulty. I think you're the right person to help me." That's very rewarding 'cause it gives you value. Yeah.
Makes you feel respected, seen, noticed, right? But do you know when you don't turn to the person-
Yeah ...
that's that person for you-
Yeah ...
you are stealing their joy.
Yeah.
Not only are you not getting the help you so desperately fucking need-
Yeah ...
when I say help, support- Yeah ... guidance.
Yeah.
But you're also stealing from that person-
Yeah
the exact thing that you're saying that you enjoy.
Yeah.
How does that make sense? So when you open up- Yeah ... and you be vulnerable-
Yeah ...
two people benefit from that. Yeah. Start thinking about that. Yeah. 'Cause forever you think, "If I tell them I'm struggling, I'm gonna become a burden to them."
Yeah.
But know how many people will actually receive value from that.
So you actually weren't a burden, you were the opposite.
Yeah.
You put some wind behind their sail 'cause they now consider themselves a person of greater worth-
Yeah ...
especially in your life.
Yeah. Yeah.
Make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Brother, appreciate it. No, I appreciate it. Yeah, I do. And I would, um, you know, in, in terms of being able to interact and whatnot, pump out 10 more of these so people don't have to listen to the same voice, but- No, yeah
it'd be great to come back and do a second one. Oh,
yeah, 100%. Yeah.
Yeah. No, appreciate it.
Appreciate it, brother. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.